Dear Friends,
My email list has grown quite a lot recently and so for those of you who have been following my work for a while – thank you, it means the world! And for those of you are new – thank you for taking an interest in my work, and welcome!
What a great opportunity to reintroduce myself then and tell you a bit about what I do. It is no uncommon occurrence to be asked what I do, and the follow-up question is often ‘What’s a life coach?’
As it happens, I LOVE what I do so much, I also love talking about it - so keep the questions rolling!
In short, a life coach holds space for someone, without judgement, and helps guide that person to find their own inner wisdom, to start living their most authentic life. But, okay, what does that all mean?
Essentially, my role is to:
Motivate!
Just like a personal trainer, it is my job to find out exactly what my client wants from life, but instead of discussing fitness plans, we discuss life goals and how to turn our dreams into reality. We all know what we ‘need’ to be doing to be healthier, happier and more successful, but often we don’t do those things. My clients set their own goals with my guidance, and by putting SMART goals in place, they become inspired and motivated to actually do the thing.
Strategise!
Going about turning our goals into reality can be hard for everyone, but particularly for young people because of the phase of brain development they are at. The steps we take to reaching goals are SMART – Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Time-based. By breaking tasks into smaller chunks, anything can be tackled without the overwhelm and mental fatigue. The way I coach also means we start to embody our desired feelings straight away. For example, if your child wants to feel more confident, energized and in control, I will ask them what they can do to strengthen those feelings straight away. Responses range from playing football to seeing friends to completing homework to having some me time.
This is the part where many of my clients voluntarily decide they want to tidy their rooms – but it will probably be kept secret from you until it’s done haha!
Hold you Accountable!
EVERYONE needs this. As I said before, we all know how to eat healthily, exercise etc, but if we could all do these things easily without being held accountable then we’d all be shining God-like examples of humanity – well adjusted, zen-minded, rippling muscles, perfect work-life balance and bodies like temples.
Yeh, me neither.
Basically, we all need help to get on the right path and to be given the right tools for success. Once good habits are well-established and we become empowered by our progress, we are much more likely to keep up those positive changes for life.
What I don’t do:
Tell my clients what to do. This can be tricky because it is human nature to give advice based on our experience, but that’s exactly the reason to not. My experience is not my client’s experience, and it is not my place to bring my own ego or stories or world perceptions to the coaching session. Each of my clients knows exactly what is right for them and it is my role to help guide them to those answers.
Criticise. Again, our young people know what feels right or wrong for them, and honestly, they are already their own worst critics. I simply hold space for them as work through things and offer compassion and direction.
Fix People. I am not of the belief that any of my young clients need fixing or changing. All of us have our challenges as well as strengths, and it is my mission to make the most of all of my clients' unique qualities. This includes ADHD and ASD traits for example, which seen in the right way can become superpowers of success.
Focus on academic results. First and foremost, mental health is the priority. If we don’t work on understanding our mental and physiological responses to stressors, address inner confidence, setting healthy boundaries and learn to listen to our bodies and intuition, then you can forget about anything else. What does happen though from starting with these things, is far higher potential for success, reduced risk of burn-out, and more informed preparedness for dealing with toxic people and situations in the future.
Dig up the past. This often comes as a relief for my clients. I am not a councillor or a psychotherapist. Although old stuff may come up in sessions, the main purpose of life coaching is to look at where the client is right now, determine where they want to be, and start bringing those goals into the present straight away.
What I do include in my sessions:
Explanation of the adolescent brain and what that means in terms of impulses, negative thoughts, physiological responses to stress and what we can do about it.
Breathwork. Breathing techniques can honestly change lives with very little effort.
Positive mindset work including affirmations, visualisations and thinking carefully about the words we use.
Tailored, individual sessions to support each client on their own journey and at their own speed.
Professional academic support. I help them with assignments, revision strategies, timetabling, exam support and accessing mark schemes.
Career pathway support.
Writing CVs, job applications and personal statements.
Interview advice.
Support in working WITH with neurodiversity.
Honestly, so much more it would take forever to write it all out!
As ever, if you have any questions, I’d love to hear them. And if you would like to book in for a free Discovery Call to discuss your family situation and how I can help you, please do email me at lifeandsoulcoaches@gmail.com
To Our Children’s Success!
Charli xx
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